Saturday marks one week since I had a drink and I’ve gone through the full gamut of emotions. The first days are mostly physical, I am overly tired and crabby. Typically I’m in bed by 8:30pm and up at 5:30am. as my body gets used to sleeping without interruption from alcohol. Yes I sleep better off alcohol but I don’t sleep as deep. Instead of a quick four hour Power Nap from 2am to 6am blackout drunk on alcohol, I’m now getting 7-8 hours of lighter but more restful sleep.
“I started pushing away family and friends”
Thursday then began the mental withdrawals. I got into my routine of looking forward to going to the beer store and buying my usual Happy Dad’s or Twisted Teas or whatever IPA struck my mood. Not having that to look forward to kind of depressed me and the self pity took over. I started pushing away family and friends and isolating myself as I tend to do when I’m going through a depressive mood. I sink into books and entertainment to distract myself from the fact that I’m not cracking an ice cold beer.
“Why am I even doing this?”
Friday was a tense day at work, and again I didn’t have my usual escape waiting for me at home. The negative self talk took over where I thought the whole thing was stupid. “Why am I even doing this?” “Such a waste of time” became the prominent themes of the day. Even today as I write this I look to my fridge as I have a couple beers left over from my last binge, unfinished because I came home and passed out at 9pm. I miss the idea of having 9-12 beers and laughing and celebrating, but I don’t miss the repercussions in the morning or the morbid obesity that comes with all those empty calories.
“I’ve given myself grace this week”
I’ve given myself grace this week as the adjustment to no alcohol takes hold. That being said I went very way too hard on the extra snacks. I was a fiend for chips, cakes, sweets, and Cheetos. I’m hopeful next week I can turn that dial down and block out the need for extra chips and just stick to my chicken and rice. I just need to push through this wall because there are brighter days ahead, but these cloudy days seem endless.
The Year I Went Sober 
Leave a comment